Just kidding! :) I just moved it. I got bored of blogger and wanted a blog that more encompassed everything about my life instead of having separate ones. I promise this one is the final one :)
runninginfreedom.wordpress.com
So bye bye Blogger! :)
I really need to cut down on the smiley faces, I think I'm a little addicted :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Go, Go, Go.
Thats usually what my mind is always doing. Always thinking about what I should do, what the future holds, what if this happens, what if this doesn't happen?! All these questions I have and what my future looks like seem so small compared to the bigger picture. The fact that I am redeemed. I am loved by The King of Kings, a daughter to the Most High all because He sent His one and only son, who willingly and obediently died on a cross to remove all my sins. All my insecurities, all the lies that tell me I can't, I'm not, or I wont, are gone because of His blood.
In my old testament class we were in talking about sacrifices in Leviticus, and usually Leviticus is one of those books that isn't that exciting to read. But a verse popped out at me and reminded me of the need for The Cross.
Because of Christ's blood, we are atoned for. It was necessary to fulfill God's law, because Christ came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Christ made a way for us to receive a new name.
I needed this reminder, as I should remember it everyday. I need to remember my new names instead of still calling myself by my old one. I am new in Christ and loved so unbelievable by God. If I remember that, and choose to remain content in Him, everything else will fall into place.
In my old testament class we were in talking about sacrifices in Leviticus, and usually Leviticus is one of those books that isn't that exciting to read. But a verse popped out at me and reminded me of the need for The Cross.
"For the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have appointed it to you to make atonement on the altar for your lives, since it is the lifeblood that makes atonement."
Leviticus 17:11
Because of Christ's blood, we are atoned for. It was necessary to fulfill God's law, because Christ came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Christ made a way for us to receive a new name.
Beloved, Daughter, Redeemed, Clean, Pure, Restored, Content, New.
Christ made a way for relationship, for restoration and forgiveness from all of God's rules that we have broken and continue to break. But Christ has already taken all that on Himself and we are atoned for.I needed this reminder, as I should remember it everyday. I need to remember my new names instead of still calling myself by my old one. I am new in Christ and loved so unbelievable by God. If I remember that, and choose to remain content in Him, everything else will fall into place.
"Do not think I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."
Matthew 5:17
"The fear of the LORD leads to life: then one rests content, untouchable by trouble."
Proverbs 19:23
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
"What the heck am I doing?!"
Do you ever get the “what the heck am I doing?” feeling? I’m not talking about when watching a show and then in the middle of it realizing your watching the history of turtles or something weird like that. I mean the “big picture”. Maybe its only me, but I get so caught up in just going day to day that I forget what I am doing it all for. And then the question comes… what am I doing it all for?
Sure I have a “plan” of how I will make the world a better place and help people and yada yada yada. But then I see and hear stories of kids in Africa being forced to watch their parents be killed and then forced to fight for the same people and I think “what the heck am I doing?!” I’m at this huge university furthering my education, stressing about little things, when they are stressing about making it through the night. I know everyone has heard the “children in Africa” story, and how many of us have just become so accustomed to it, where we think it’s sad and then keep moving. Sometimes I feel guilty, that all this money is being used just for me to learn, while people starve and stay sick from illnesses where the cure for those is so common and available that they are taken for granted. I feel this way and I want to do something, but what can I do?
So I’m going to quit school, sell everything, and move to Uganda… Just kidding! Don’t worry Mom and Dad! :) For now… ;) But I can still do something. I think just being aware of the fact that there are less, much less, fortunate people on this earth and realizing that it isn’t the end of the world when our Starbucks latte isn’t prepared just right, can make a difference. We can realize there IS a bigger picture, and it isn’t all about us. We are where we are for a reason. God doesn’t put us somewhere He didn’t intend for us to be. Even if we went the “wrong way” and ended up somewhere we never thought we would be, God has a purpose for being in that “wrong” place. We may think that what we are doing is pointless, and not making any difference but that’s just not true. If we are seeking God and pursuing His work, then there is a purpose, even if we can’t see it right now.
Some people might think they need to “find themselves” like Julia Roberts does in Eat, Pray, Love in order to be all they can be. But if we want to make a Kingdom difference then we have to look at what the Word says which is that those who lay down their loves will find it. I saw a tweet the other day that I just loved. It was by Sara Lucado and it was this “When I stop striving to create a life for myself, I find the life God creates for me.”
So back to my original question.. “what the heck am I doing?!” I am where God wants me to be, I am pursuing Him and His will, by being diligent in what He has called me to do, right now. And as far as the future, I have an idea because of the passions He has given me, but the specifics… who knows? I know He does and that’s all that matters. I might not being moving to Uganda, but I am praying and keeping those children close to my heart, keeping my stressing in perspective. I might not know exactly what I’m doing, but my identity is in Christ, and if I lay down my life, and pursue His will, I will find life and life abundant, and my work will not be in vain.
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me, will find it."
Matthew 16:25
"Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord's work, knowing that the labor in the Lord is not in vain."
1 Corinthians 16:58
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Vulnerable.
People cope with change in many different ways, but I think we all have a certain habit we revert to when we are trying to adjust to that change. For me that habit has been one of two things or both. One: I eat. Or two: I shut down.
This adjustment to college has been one that I didn't expect. I thought I was so independent and ready and when I got here everything would just go my way. I'm seeing my pride in a whole different light. How most of the things that get me frustrated or uncomfortable are because of this huge pride monster I have growing in my mind. I didn't even notice the sneaky little guy whispering lies of how it should be or things I thought I was entitled to, I just accepted them and let the frustration grow. I don't like to let people know I am struggling with something, I don't want anyone else's advice, or to hear their story of how they overcame it, I just want to complain and wallow in my own self pity. I'm working on this, but most of the time, I just shut down. I don't want to talk, I want quiet, I give the cold shoulder, I just want to figure things out on my own. This has been my way of coping with the move to college.
I think if I wasn't a vegan and hadn't begun dealing with my food issues earlier I would be taking most of my comfort in food, which ironically has been part of the reason I've felt so off. My habit was to dig into sweets and junk food (which I still did a little of, hey its college! ;) ), but I know now that that way of coping would only make things worse, so then I didn't know what else to do. (P.S. I still LOVE being a vegan :D )
I knew the "church answer" of what to do. Get into the word and pray more. I would read my Bible and pray but I still had the pride monster creeping around so it really wasn't doing much for me. I couldn't get rid of him until I realized he was there. I couldn't begin to heal and move on until I let go of my fear of being vulnerable and remember how strong God's love is. God's love is stronger than my pride and my fear of not having it all together all the time. God's voice can pierce through any other voice, and resonate much longer.
There wasn't an exact moment or revelation of healing, it is and will continue to be a process. But the thing that will always get me through is God's love and God Himself because God is Love. I have to understand that its okay to show my vulnerability, and lay it at His feet because through Christ, it is covered in His blood, and that is the only way I can be healed and made whole. I can choose, despite of everything to love, because that is what God did, and does, and will forever do because it is who He is. He is my home, my comfort, my peace, my love.
This adjustment to college has been one that I didn't expect. I thought I was so independent and ready and when I got here everything would just go my way. I'm seeing my pride in a whole different light. How most of the things that get me frustrated or uncomfortable are because of this huge pride monster I have growing in my mind. I didn't even notice the sneaky little guy whispering lies of how it should be or things I thought I was entitled to, I just accepted them and let the frustration grow. I don't like to let people know I am struggling with something, I don't want anyone else's advice, or to hear their story of how they overcame it, I just want to complain and wallow in my own self pity. I'm working on this, but most of the time, I just shut down. I don't want to talk, I want quiet, I give the cold shoulder, I just want to figure things out on my own. This has been my way of coping with the move to college.
I think if I wasn't a vegan and hadn't begun dealing with my food issues earlier I would be taking most of my comfort in food, which ironically has been part of the reason I've felt so off. My habit was to dig into sweets and junk food (which I still did a little of, hey its college! ;) ), but I know now that that way of coping would only make things worse, so then I didn't know what else to do. (P.S. I still LOVE being a vegan :D )
I knew the "church answer" of what to do. Get into the word and pray more. I would read my Bible and pray but I still had the pride monster creeping around so it really wasn't doing much for me. I couldn't get rid of him until I realized he was there. I couldn't begin to heal and move on until I let go of my fear of being vulnerable and remember how strong God's love is. God's love is stronger than my pride and my fear of not having it all together all the time. God's voice can pierce through any other voice, and resonate much longer.
There wasn't an exact moment or revelation of healing, it is and will continue to be a process. But the thing that will always get me through is God's love and God Himself because God is Love. I have to understand that its okay to show my vulnerability, and lay it at His feet because through Christ, it is covered in His blood, and that is the only way I can be healed and made whole. I can choose, despite of everything to love, because that is what God did, and does, and will forever do because it is who He is. He is my home, my comfort, my peace, my love.
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13
Sunday, August 29, 2010
It will not run dry.
I've been on a job hunt for one whole week now and... nothing. I haven't heard back from anyone or had any interviews and its been one whole week! I'm not really sure what I expected to happen when I got up here. Maybe for a job to just land in my lap because I'm a Christian and I have a pretty good job history and God says He will provide. Oh and I also expected it to happen in the first week.
I tend to stress a little too much about money. Which is a little strange for me considering I've always been provided for. I've never had to worry if I could afford my next meal or afford clothes or where I was going to sleep, it has always been there for me, no stress needed. But I do. I worry if I'm saving enough or if I'm spending too much, but regardless, since the time I've been spending my own money I've always known there would be another paycheck. I know I'm going to sound really spoiled now, but I've never had to find a job on my own resources. I've either known somebody or known somebody who knows somebody and I got the job that way. No faith required.
And while this week I've told God quite a few times that I know He will provide and He will show me the job He wants me to have, I been saying that on some conditions. The conditions being
1. I want it now.
2. I want it to be somewhat enjoyable.
3. I want it to be good pay.
4. I want it now.
5. I want it now.
Before I moved to Tallahassee and already beginning to stress about not having a job I read a passage in 1 Kings which I still remember from Sunday school. I prayed before I read that God would show me what He wanted me to see and I got something from it, but I didn't want it to pertain to me. I read it and thought what a great message that would be for somebody else. I read it again thinking somehow the message would change, but I got the same feeling. The story is 1 Kings 17:8-16, I encourage you to read it, its an amazing story and it might make this post a little more understandable. Actually here it is...
8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?" 11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
So I'm sure you see where I'm going with this... And why I wished the message to change. I like my jar of flour and jug of oil at the place where they are, and I was praying for them to be replenished now while they are still comfortably full. But full jars require little faith. This woman had lost hope, she only had enough to provide for herself and her son one more meal and then they planned on dying. I find it ironic how God sent Elijah to a woman who needed to be provided for to provide for Elijah. God provided her first so she could feed Elijah. Elijah could have been some phony prophet just asking for food but the woman still used her last flour to feed him. She had faith and she was obedient. I can't imagine how hard that would have been, to possibly be giving the last of all she had to a stranger. But she did it. And the flour was not used up and the oil did not run dry.
I tend to stress a little too much about money. Which is a little strange for me considering I've always been provided for. I've never had to worry if I could afford my next meal or afford clothes or where I was going to sleep, it has always been there for me, no stress needed. But I do. I worry if I'm saving enough or if I'm spending too much, but regardless, since the time I've been spending my own money I've always known there would be another paycheck. I know I'm going to sound really spoiled now, but I've never had to find a job on my own resources. I've either known somebody or known somebody who knows somebody and I got the job that way. No faith required.
And while this week I've told God quite a few times that I know He will provide and He will show me the job He wants me to have, I been saying that on some conditions. The conditions being
1. I want it now.
2. I want it to be somewhat enjoyable.
3. I want it to be good pay.
4. I want it now.
5. I want it now.
Before I moved to Tallahassee and already beginning to stress about not having a job I read a passage in 1 Kings which I still remember from Sunday school. I prayed before I read that God would show me what He wanted me to see and I got something from it, but I didn't want it to pertain to me. I read it and thought what a great message that would be for somebody else. I read it again thinking somehow the message would change, but I got the same feeling. The story is 1 Kings 17:8-16, I encourage you to read it, its an amazing story and it might make this post a little more understandable. Actually here it is...
8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?" 11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
12 "As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."
13 Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.
So I'm sure you see where I'm going with this... And why I wished the message to change. I like my jar of flour and jug of oil at the place where they are, and I was praying for them to be replenished now while they are still comfortably full. But full jars require little faith. This woman had lost hope, she only had enough to provide for herself and her son one more meal and then they planned on dying. I find it ironic how God sent Elijah to a woman who needed to be provided for to provide for Elijah. God provided her first so she could feed Elijah. Elijah could have been some phony prophet just asking for food but the woman still used her last flour to feed him. She had faith and she was obedient. I can't imagine how hard that would have been, to possibly be giving the last of all she had to a stranger. But she did it. And the flour was not used up and the oil did not run dry.
I can not put my faith in the fact that right now my "jar" is comfortable, because the jar by itself is just a jar. It will run dry, as long as that is the only thing I rely on. But choosing faith in God, choosing to rely on His Word and claiming what He has promised, that will never run dry, will never turn up void. His promises are not that we will be comfortable all the time or that we will have everything we wanted. In fact this woman's son got really sick after this and died. But Elijah prayed to the Lord and the boy was healed, and the woman saw that Elijah was the real deal.
I also noticed something else I didn't notice before in this story. When I've thought of this story in the past couple days the only part that ran through my head was "the oil jug did not run dry", but I didn't pay attention to the second part..."until the Lord gives rain on the land." God is going to provide again, the land will yield crops again, I will have a job again, but until I do, the oil jug will not run dry.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Freedom, Freedom, FREEDOM!
You know that tune. It's so much fun to sing at the top of your lungs when you really are free from something. It's an awesome thing, freedom. We fight for it. We die for it. We live because of it.
I recently finished a Daniel Fast about two weeks ago and I was so excited for the day when it would be over. I could have sugar again, Mhhm my good friend. (Or so I thought) I even bought a cookbook all about vegan cupcakes in my excitement to be able to eat them. I enjoyed the Daniel Fast and felt great but I knew in my head I was restricting myself and so that infamous Tuesday was like waiting for Christmas. So I finished the fast and then woke up on that Tuesday, headed to the coffee shop for my favorite soy chai tea latte, came back, and made two batches of cupcakes. The next day I made cookies, and went to the candy store, and drank a ton of sweet tea, and well I think you're getting the idea. I went crazy. And I kept telling myself "Hey I'm on vacation, I'll stop when I get home." Well I've been home for a week and its been pretty similar, not quite as crazy but every day since I've been home has been "my last day with sugar". I want to stop, I know it's bad and just makes me want more of it (it honestly is like a drug), but I continue to make my bad choices and then suffer the guilt, feeling like a failure, and frustration later. Do I sound like a drug addict yet?
But here is the awesome thing, whether it's sugar, crack, tobacco, alcohol, sex, porn, video games, shopping, television, or anything this world tries to entice us with, we can be free from it. But there is a couple of things we have to do before we can walk in that freedom.
I stumbled across a website the other day( literally, stumbleupon.com is the greatest!) and it was the story of a lady who had lost a bunch of weight and wrote a book. I began reading about her and her step that set her free from the weight she was lugging around was to "forgive yourself". Why did Jesus die on the Cross? To forgive us. I am forgiven, Christ, The Son Of God, has forgiven me, but I hadn't forgiven myself. I let myself wallow in my self pity and guilt and thinking I was a failure because I wouldn't just let it go, shake the dust off my feet and forgive myself. The ironic thing was when I thought I had my freedom back, I only dug myself deeper into captivity. Paul wrote to Corinth that everything is permissible, but not to be mastered by anything. When something becomes your master that isn't THE Master, then it must be pushed away. I thought being off the Daniel Fast would be great, but what I didn't realize was during it I was free from all the yucky foods that make me crazy.
Our freedom is a gift and a precious gift, not from our government, not by being eighteen, not by being twenty-one, not by traveling to a different place, but from our Heavenly Father who sent His one and only Son to forgive us, so that we can be free. But like with many precious gifts, there is someone out there trying to steal it from us. We have to guard it and that might mean letting go of some of the things we think add joy or pleasure to our lives but are really digging us deeper into captivity. When Paul and Titus were in Jerusalem the leaders there brought up the issue of circumcision and Paul described it as them coming "in order to enslave us. But we did not yield" We might think that "freedom in Christ" means we can do whatever we want, however Jesus gave us specific instructions on how to live our lives, it's called the Bible. Freedom is not being allowed to do whatever we want, it's being free from sin, free from the traps of this world, free in Him. We can't continue to walk in our old ways and expect true freedom in Christ. We are to take up our cross and follow Him. That might mean leaving some things behind, even some things we love, but the reward is pure, total, complete, satisfying, FREEDOM.
Now would be a good time to sing the song :)
I recently finished a Daniel Fast about two weeks ago and I was so excited for the day when it would be over. I could have sugar again, Mhhm my good friend. (Or so I thought) I even bought a cookbook all about vegan cupcakes in my excitement to be able to eat them. I enjoyed the Daniel Fast and felt great but I knew in my head I was restricting myself and so that infamous Tuesday was like waiting for Christmas. So I finished the fast and then woke up on that Tuesday, headed to the coffee shop for my favorite soy chai tea latte, came back, and made two batches of cupcakes. The next day I made cookies, and went to the candy store, and drank a ton of sweet tea, and well I think you're getting the idea. I went crazy. And I kept telling myself "Hey I'm on vacation, I'll stop when I get home." Well I've been home for a week and its been pretty similar, not quite as crazy but every day since I've been home has been "my last day with sugar". I want to stop, I know it's bad and just makes me want more of it (it honestly is like a drug), but I continue to make my bad choices and then suffer the guilt, feeling like a failure, and frustration later. Do I sound like a drug addict yet?
But here is the awesome thing, whether it's sugar, crack, tobacco, alcohol, sex, porn, video games, shopping, television, or anything this world tries to entice us with, we can be free from it. But there is a couple of things we have to do before we can walk in that freedom.
I stumbled across a website the other day( literally, stumbleupon.com is the greatest!) and it was the story of a lady who had lost a bunch of weight and wrote a book. I began reading about her and her step that set her free from the weight she was lugging around was to "forgive yourself". Why did Jesus die on the Cross? To forgive us. I am forgiven, Christ, The Son Of God, has forgiven me, but I hadn't forgiven myself. I let myself wallow in my self pity and guilt and thinking I was a failure because I wouldn't just let it go, shake the dust off my feet and forgive myself. The ironic thing was when I thought I had my freedom back, I only dug myself deeper into captivity. Paul wrote to Corinth that everything is permissible, but not to be mastered by anything. When something becomes your master that isn't THE Master, then it must be pushed away. I thought being off the Daniel Fast would be great, but what I didn't realize was during it I was free from all the yucky foods that make me crazy.
Our freedom is a gift and a precious gift, not from our government, not by being eighteen, not by being twenty-one, not by traveling to a different place, but from our Heavenly Father who sent His one and only Son to forgive us, so that we can be free. But like with many precious gifts, there is someone out there trying to steal it from us. We have to guard it and that might mean letting go of some of the things we think add joy or pleasure to our lives but are really digging us deeper into captivity. When Paul and Titus were in Jerusalem the leaders there brought up the issue of circumcision and Paul described it as them coming "in order to enslave us. But we did not yield" We might think that "freedom in Christ" means we can do whatever we want, however Jesus gave us specific instructions on how to live our lives, it's called the Bible. Freedom is not being allowed to do whatever we want, it's being free from sin, free from the traps of this world, free in Him. We can't continue to walk in our old ways and expect true freedom in Christ. We are to take up our cross and follow Him. That might mean leaving some things behind, even some things we love, but the reward is pure, total, complete, satisfying, FREEDOM.
Now would be a good time to sing the song :)
"This issue arose because of the false brothers smuggled in, who came in secretly to spy on our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, in order to enslave us. But we did not yield in submission to these people for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain in you."
Galatians 2:4-5
"Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is helpful. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be brought under the control of anything."
1 Corinthians 6:12
And Of course,
"So If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
John 8:36
Saturday, July 10, 2010
It Takes Two.
There are many parts of religion and they are usually separated as such when you are "religious". There are the rules you have to follow, the sacrifices you have to make, what day you should "work" on, and so on. But faith is a different story.
I've experienced that there are really only two aspects of my faith, and everything else falls under either one of the categories. My relationship with My Father can be regarded as the part that has to do with me personally, and then there is the part that has to do with everyone else. They can not be separated or else my faith would crumble, but they should be seen as two different parts.
The personal part is the time I spend alone with God, where my relationship is about me and Him and thats it. Focusing on what He's done, what He does, and everything He is going to do and has for me to do here. It is the time where I fill up and get restored, where I can rest. This is a time for growth and for learning. A time where I can be selfish in terms of taking time away from everything else and sit with my Creator.
Then there is the other side of it, the side where everyone else is invited. The time where I am called to be a servant and pour everything out that was filled up in my "me" time. This time is any time that I am not alone. Any time that people are watching is when I am an example for Christ, and people are watching.
The two parts are separate, but can not be separated. They have to work together and weigh equally. If I'm always by myself even if I'm always seeking His presence, then I'm not doing what He wants me to do. If I never get that alone time, I will get burnt out and frustrated. The personal part of my faith requires sacrifice, for me to lay something that God calls me to lay down. Sometimes that sacrifice stays on the personal level and other times, depending on what is being laid down it can affect many other people.
Sometimes these aspects intertwine, but other times it is required to keep them apart so that each part can be everything it is meant to be. The point is I can not grow nor can I fulfill the plans God has for me without finding the harmony which these parts of my relationship can work together and flourish.
I've experienced that there are really only two aspects of my faith, and everything else falls under either one of the categories. My relationship with My Father can be regarded as the part that has to do with me personally, and then there is the part that has to do with everyone else. They can not be separated or else my faith would crumble, but they should be seen as two different parts.
The personal part is the time I spend alone with God, where my relationship is about me and Him and thats it. Focusing on what He's done, what He does, and everything He is going to do and has for me to do here. It is the time where I fill up and get restored, where I can rest. This is a time for growth and for learning. A time where I can be selfish in terms of taking time away from everything else and sit with my Creator.
Then there is the other side of it, the side where everyone else is invited. The time where I am called to be a servant and pour everything out that was filled up in my "me" time. This time is any time that I am not alone. Any time that people are watching is when I am an example for Christ, and people are watching.
The two parts are separate, but can not be separated. They have to work together and weigh equally. If I'm always by myself even if I'm always seeking His presence, then I'm not doing what He wants me to do. If I never get that alone time, I will get burnt out and frustrated. The personal part of my faith requires sacrifice, for me to lay something that God calls me to lay down. Sometimes that sacrifice stays on the personal level and other times, depending on what is being laid down it can affect many other people.
Sometimes these aspects intertwine, but other times it is required to keep them apart so that each part can be everything it is meant to be. The point is I can not grow nor can I fulfill the plans God has for me without finding the harmony which these parts of my relationship can work together and flourish.
"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me,
and he prepares the way
so that I may show him the salvation of God."
Psalm 50:23
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